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We reckon there is a time in all gay men’s lives when we think, “Maybe I shouldn’t be so gay”. Because god knows, your dad probably doesn’t want you to be gay, the high school rugby captain won’t want to hang with you, you’ll be picked on and feel like shit.
And then there’s a point where some think, “Who gives a fuck – I need to be me!”
Those brave ones embrace their gay, their queer, their camp; or as we love to call, their Sissy.
How to elevate yourself
For some, coming out takes time. It’s a journey. Friends and family often see your internal struggle, and patiently wait for you to accept yourself.
But once you do come out, it’s about celebrating and elevating yourself, about putting you and your happiness above all of those negative voices you’ve heard along the way.
Being Sissy is about taking every single piece of amazingness that you have and turning it into your own beauty.
Look at Sasha Velour. She battled her Sissy for years, challenged and won over her demons, eventually giving everything she had to show the world “All this beauty”. Her lipsync of Whitney Houston’s So Emotional is truly iconic. It’s here that we see the essence of her Sissy.
But I don’t want to do drag
We’re not saying you have to go out and become the next RuPaul Drag Race’s iconic drag queen, but if you can, you should take a few notes from Sasha Velour’s book by:
- Finding the most fun, joy and gayness in life
- Give that joy a name – Sissy
- And celebrate all the other Sissys you know
Being Sissy is easy once you know – love yourself, and love others you hot bitch.
What is masc?
Being ‘masc’ is a hangover of the 90s and 00s; to be masculine was to be strong, capable and socially acceptable.
Conversely, being camp or sissy, was to be effeminate, and everything our fathers were not. We were easily identifiable, targets, and for closeted gays, this was too much to handle.
With the rise of the dating websites in the early days (like Gaydar and ManHunt), and then more recently apps (think Grindr and Scruff), it became the norm for men to say they were into ‘masc’, ‘straight-acting’, or more recently, ‘DL’.
Over time, us Sissy’s became not only marginalised in the broader non-gay community, but by the portions of the gay community as well.
Who is masc now?
From Mother Sissy’s vast online research, it’s generally the older gays who still insist on this ideal. And in its very suggestion, being ‘masc’ negates everything they’re seeking to stop by going to the gym 5 times a week, and buying the latest clothes – show their age.
Happily for us, with marriage equality on the rise around the globe, popularity of programs like RPDR, India decriminalising homosexuality, and the general celebration of queer culture (like successful athelete Gus Kenworthy coming out), sissies have felt less pressure to conform to the typical ideal of masculinity, and just be themselves.
Celebrate your Sissy
There are so many ways to own and celebrate Sissy, including:
- Dancing with your arms in the air to Kylie
- Watching gymnastics at the Olympics
- Be Sissy in the sheets and on the streets
It’s also about acknowledging that for many, being an out and proud gay man isn’t possible. In China for example, it’s not the social norm to have Chinese pride.
We love you Sissys. So there’s nothing else to do but love yourself, and love all your other Sissys.
We’re so happy you visited us today. Stay tuned for agony aunt Sissy, fashion forward Sissy, what to do if you get a leaky bum Sissy (Mother Sissy is just dealing with that herself), and soooo much more.
Stay Sissy! And remember that you are proud, and you are loved.